Third Web | Video

[theotherother]

[When the video starts, there's the noise of something jangling but nothing in view that could be causing it. Anybody familiar with today's swarm can probably guess what it is, but there's no sign of the keychain Pokemon...things. Just a very confused looking Kaine.]

Okay, I get that this place is weird and all and that the animals make no sense, but what the hell is the deal with this?

[He lifts his free hand up to the camera, showing that he's holding a Klefki by the...keyring? And the source of the noise is made obvious since it's angrily shaking its keys at Kaine.]

Seriously. This? This is a freakin' keychain. An angry keychain.

[He's not even sure where he's going with this anymore. He'll just think about it for a second while the Klefki continues to jingle its keys in anger.]

Uh...look, since everyone I met's really into this whole Pokemon training...thing, does anyone out there want...

[He stares at the Pokemon for a while trying to think of what in the hell to call it.]

...keys. Does anyone out there want keys? Because I don't. And they're all over the damn place here. So yeah, please come over here and catch them. All of them. Because they're annoying as hell.

Actually you know what, if you want these things, I'll send them to you. Just tell me where to send em. Because the sooner things quiet down around here, the better.

Comments

[theotherother]

Not really. I mean there's dog Pokemon right? I'd use those instead.

[artificialrose]

But you can't put your keys so easily on a dog Pokemon.

[theotherother]

Why would you even want to?

[...oh.]

Never mind, I get what you're saying, but it's still...dumb. I mean these things are tiny, and I haven't seen them do anything except make noise. You'd be better off buying a burglar alarm, a dog, or calling the cops. Anything that isn't leaving your security in the hands of...of a keychain.

[artificialrose]

Ha, well, most of the Pokemon I've seen seem to be low level... Most, when they get stronger, can actually be rather frightening even if they're cute looking.

You never know, right? If nothing else, it'll be fun to learn more about a new breed.

[theotherother]

Frightening?

[He'll take a moment to look at the keychain. Like really look at it.

Which leads to more angry key shaking because it does not appreciate being studied.]

I'm not seeing it.

[artificialrose]

Well... Have you ever heard of Litwick?

[theotherother]

No. What is it?

[And right after asking.]

Sounds like a candle.

[....and now he's picturing a living candle to go with the keychain and just why Pokemon world? Why?]

[artificialrose]

[That is a question everyone asks themselves every day.]

It is. It's a Ghost type Pokemon. Its flame stays lit because it eats bits of people's lifeforce.

[theotherother]

It...

[Okay, hang on. He's attempting to process this.]

Why the hell does something like that even exist?

[artificialrose]

I don't know.

[This is why he doesn't like Ghost Pokemon. THIS IS WHY.]

[theotherother]

Let me guess. People actually catch and keep these things.

[artificialrose]

Of course they do.

[theotherother]

I'm not surprised, but that's a horrible idea. Really. Like the worst idea ever. In fact, the only way it could be worse is if they were, I don't know, gave off radiation or something.

[artificialrose]

I know, I have no idea why anyone would want them either. Yet I suppose they just... manage to deal with it.

[theotherother]

How in the hell do you learn to deal with that?

[...it's not like he can really talk since he's learned to deal with being the host for some weird...spider thing, so he's not a stranger to weird horrifying stuff, but still.]

[artificialrose]

Considering I do my best to avoid Ghost type Pokemon, I have no idea.

[theotherother]

...maybe they're possessed.

[He just said the first thing that popped into his head.]

[artificialrose]

I'm almost positive some are.

[This entire conversation is just convincing him further to try and avoid them as much as humanly possible.]

[theotherother]

This is going to make me sound like a dick, but I'm really glad I'm not the one who'd have to deal with that.

[Because someone else here can deal with it. Forever.]

[artificialrose]

Then I'm just as much one, because I'm glad I'm not either.

[He only has two Ghost pokemon, and one of them essentially forced itself on him. Shuppets are horrible.]

[theotherother]

[He doesn't have any ghosts, and thanks to this conversation, he's not planning on getting one ever.]

Man, what the hell's wrong with this place?

[artificialrose]

I really have no idea, but I'm sure a complete list could fill a book.

[theotherother]

Multiple books is more like it.